I've been reading, and mostly enjoying, a police procedural that has a pretty good plot. It also has great characters, a fine setting and decent pacing.
Fairly early on, I found myself picking up on the use of mouth references, mostly employed to break conversation.
It started to become irritating and definitely detracted from the read.
I'm not sure why the references bug me so. Perhaps its because these actions aren't visible to me in everyday life and in real conversation. I think it works in films to suggest many things, but when it's written, it completely turns me off.
Towards the end, I was reading on a train with my pen marking the instances I came across. The journey was just over twenty minutes.
Here's what I found:
presses his lips together
T chews his lip
H licks his lips
his lower lip seems to tremble
moisture fills her mouth
clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth
she says, tight-lipped
sucks his teeth
sucks in his cheeks
presses his lips together into a tight, bloodless line
It's easily done, I know. We often write using pet movements and often don't even realise they're there. The writer is forgiven, just about, but the editor of the book is most definitely not.
Be careful out there.
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