RECEIPT

3rd July 2004
Alwyn’s Stores
Lemongrass ..........1........£1.49
Mushrooms............1.......£1.22
Aubergine...............1.......£0.95
Cumin (jar)..............1........£1.75
Boxer ShortS (2pk)..1........ £4.99
Beaujolais (red)......2.........£8.98
Garam Masala .......1.........£1.88
Durex cdms (3pk)...1........£4.25
Nan bread ............1........£1.00

Total.....................£26.51
You have saved...............£0.00

Thank you for shopping at
Alwyn’s Stores



It were in an old suit I’m taking down to Oxfam. The jacket smells of dust and sweat. Cheaper to get rid of it than to take it to the cleaners.

Could tell a few stories that bag of clothes.

I’d never bought lemongrass before. Haven’t since. Still got it in' fridge.

It were a first date. Wanted to impress. Took me hours to get right, then I had to get myself ready.

She were gorgeous in her summer dress and glittery shoes. Her voice were smoother than a cream egg.

Turned out she hated mushrooms. And aubergines. And curry. And all of my jokes. I didn’t get to use the condoms for months. Least I beat the sell-by date.