Time's really moving quickly. Keeps things interesting.
Did you see the news on the possibility that there are particles which move faster than the speed of light? Apparently that means Einstein would be wrong. Me, I reckon the readings were inaccurate - it's not that I understand the first thing about physics, I just like Mr Einstein and his lovely quotes. It's also great to have a dyslexic guy at the top of the tree. I hope he stays there.
This one's a big surprise for me. My story Into Thin Air is now number 2 in the Waterstone's e-book short story chart. Any support you feel like offering in helping me topple 'Three Breasts And A Little Lady' from the number one position would make me very happy.
Other news to make us happy is the release of Pulp Modern. The list of contributors in the first volume is absolutely delicious, and there's even a piece by the master himself, Lawrence Block.
It looks like the real deal, so go check it out.
And talking about the speed of light, Darren Sant's got all the moves of George Best without having the figure. He's hit the scene running and he's not stopped since.
A very big welcome for the most excellent Darren Sant:
The Lamb Shank Redemption
Confirm your name, age and address for the tape.
Darren Sant. Aged 41. I live in Hull.
Mr. Sant we have found evidence of criminal acts on your hard drive. What do you have to say?
I keep telling you they are short stories. I want my bloody lawyer!
THE SOUND OF A LOUD SLAP.
Don’t get cocky with me sunshine. Tell me about the drugs and the car stereos.
Ouch. That’s brutality that is! There were no drugs. It was just a story called A Good Day. I don’t have a “stash” and I haven’t nicked any stereos.
So you are a “writer” are you?
THE SOUND OF SNIGGERING
I try to be…
You don’t sound very sure Mr. Sant. Perhaps you could tell me where you hid the Glock .45?
Do I look like the kind of guy who would know how to use a gun? That story was even published online at the Flash Fiction Offensive. You can check it was called Revenge is A Warm 45.
I meet all sorts in my line of work mate you’d be surprised. You’ve got shifty eyes and a slap head. Ever thought of being a Harry Hill impressionist?
THE SOUND OF A SLAP THEN A CLATTER
Oh, dear you’ve fallen off your chair. Tell me about the budgie you had killed and all those hits on your PC to Shotgun Honey and Dirty Noir. Are you some kind of pervert Mr Sant?
It’s just fiction…
So tell us about your writing Mr. Sant?
I write short fiction. Sometimes I write very short flash fiction. My stories are usually set in urban environments that would be familiar to most people. Often it's a story up to five thousand words. They feature dark deeds, revenge, and murder. Sometimes they have a happy ending but more often they don't.
Please speak up for the benefit of the tape. Is it your own criminal acts that inspire these stories?
NO! Life inspires me. People inspire me. The shades of grey between the black and white. Motivation and morality inspire me. The two words "what if" inspire me.
TURNING TO COMRADE & SNEERING
Methinks he doth protest too much eh? Tell us what genre you write in?
I try not to think in those terms. If a story idea takes hold of me it isn’t necessarily in a specific genre. For example I’ve just written a story for an anthology that had to be inspired by a song title. The song I chose had a title that lent itself to sci-fi. Whilst I don’t consider Sci-fi “my thing” I couldn’t see it coming out any other way so I wrote and it flowed and came out good – I hope. That’s for others to judge.
Having just said that about genres I particularly enjoy writing urban tales and they often feature criminal acts.
Bloody hell fatty you do rattle on don’t you? I didn’t ask for your life story. Tell me what is your modus operandi is…I erm…mean trademark writing style and speak up for the tape.
Well that could perhaps be best articulated by someone else looking at my writing from an outside perspective. However, I’ll have a go at answering it. I like my stories to have a twist. The twist can be a be good or bad thing for the characters involved.
I also like to try to include elements of humour even in the darkest of my stories. Who wants a dark grey tale with no element of colour, no bright spark? That is my humour. I have an unfortunate habit, that some like, of having a moral or philosophical slant to some of my stories. No matter how hard I try this tends to weave itself into the story. I seem to subconsciously almost want to make a point and it’s not always a positive one. I just let this be now it’s part of my style I’ve accepted it.
What crimes…em…projects are you working on?
Far too many projects. I’ve literally just finished a story called Dope on A Rope that will be featured in an exciting new anthology soon. This story is one of my more playful humorous efforts.
In addition to that I am writing the next instalment in my series of urban stories that I call Tales from the Longcroft Estate. I am working on two collaborative short stories with writers from my publisher Trestle Press. Busy times!
Ok boys that’s all we need. Take this scumbag away and throw away the key. I’ll be down later Mr. Sant with a bucket of taramasalata and an excited llama. You’re for it laddo.
Darren Sant was born in Stoke-on-Trent but has lived in Hull with his wife Julie for over a decade. He is an avid reader that was inspired by a friend to join a creative writing course. The rest is history. His stories have appeared in Byker Books' excellent Radgepacket series and online at: The Flash FictionOffensive, Shotgun Honey, Pulp Metal and Thrillers, Killers ‘N’ Chillers.
His publishing credits include
Stories in Byker Books Radgepacket volumes 4 and 5.
A collaborative story with Nick Boldock called Firestorm in an anthology called ePocalypse: emails at the end by Pill Hill Press.
His catalogue of work with Trestle Press continues to grow but currently includes: