(squeak of chairs being settled into)
Interviewer: I'm happy to be talking to you today, Kaye. Kaye George is the author of many short stories and one novel, just released the first of May. There are details on her webpage at http://kayegeorge.com/. Not many people have actually heard of you, Kaye. I may be one of the few. Are you aware of that?
K: Yes, yes, I'm well aware of that. I'm doing everything I can, OK? I'm here, aren't I? I have two (two!) blogs, a website, multiple books for sale. What else can I do?
(much chair squeaking)
I: Calm down a little, please, if you can. Have you had your meds this morning? I think it would help if you told us a bit about your new book, CHOKE.
K: Well, there you go. You've heard of my new book. Except you left off the best part: CHOKE: An Imogene Duckworthy Mystery. It's supposed to be a funny book and Imogene Duckworthy is a funny name, so it sounds better with the whole title.
Here's a bit about this mystery: When Uncle Huey is found murdered in his diner in tiny Saltlick, TX, a half-frozen package of mesquite-smoked sausage stuffed down his throat, Imogene Duckworthy, an unwed mother who longs to be a PI, gets her chance to solve a real crime.
And yes, I've had the meds.
(sound of heavy sighing)
I: Huey Duckworthy? As in Huey, Dewey, and Louie?
K: That will eventually be revealed.
I: What will?
K: What you said, you idiot.
(loud puff of breath)
I: Have you thought about what someone actually named Imogene Duckworthy might think when they read this.
K: Hey, I googled it. No one is named that.
I: That's good enough, I'm sure. What are some of the other humorous names in the book?
K: Imogene's mother is Hortense and her daughter is Nancy Drew Duckworthy.
I: How did they get those names?
K: I didn't name them! Their mothers did. Imogene's name is a reflection on her mother. She's a little pretentious. Nancy Drew's name tells you that Immy, as she's usually called, has an intense interest in mysteries. A name always tells you more about the parents than it does about the person. Haven't you ever noticed that?
I: I'm not the most observant person, I guess. But you, as a writer, must be observant.
K: Yes, I'm constantly watching people. For instance, I observe that you seem nervous about this interview.
I: Can you blame me? I never know what you'll say.
K: Some other skills a writer needs are, um, typing. And--the ability to make things up as I go along.
I: You're a natural born liar?
K: I didn't say that.
I: Can you tell us what's in store for Immy in the future?
K: I thought you'd never ask. When SMOKE comes out, she's just landed a job assisting Mike Mallett in Wymee Falls, Texas. In the course of bringing a pot-bellied pig home as a birthday gift for her daughter, Drew, Immy discovers the owner of Jerry's Jerky hanging in his own smokehouse. The pig breeder, Amy JoBeth, is implicated, so Immy feels compelled to try to find the real killer. That gentle, somewhat depressed woman couldn't have killed Rusty Bucket. Could she?
I: I don't know. Could she?
K: See, that's why I'm a writer and you're not. That's what's known as a rhetorical question, a hook.
I: Ah. I must say it's been, it's been...interesting talking to you today. I wish you every success with your Imogene Duckworthy series.
K: You could buy a copy. That would help.
I: But you said you'd give me a free one.
(sound of door slamming)
I: Geez. I promised, so I'll post these buy links:
CHOKE: An Imogene Duckworthy Mystery